Gratitude in the Chaos

Someone asked me once what the best and worst things about being a mom were.  My answer for both of those questions was the same: the tremendous amount of responsibility involved.  And I don't think it will ever be easy, at least it hasn't been for me so far.  Rewarding?  Definitely.  Easy?  Absolutely not.

Chaos

Here are some of the harder things (followed by gratitude) that we've been dealing with lately with 4 kids in all different stages of development.

Baby (due 8/8/17)

Morning sickness.  This has been my most difficult pregnancy so far, and taking care of three kids on top of dealing with morning sickness has been especially challenging (hence the months it's been since my last post announcing my pregnancy).  I went weeks - weeks - without cooking, and I also gave up on grocery shopping.  And because of not wanting to deal with morning sickness in public with three young kids in tow, we've been home.  A lot.



Changing out the wardrobe.  I got rid of almost all of my maternity clothes a few months ago because we were not planning on having another baby, Thanks to thrift stores, good friends, and a generous aunt, I've been well-taken care of.  But the actual wardrobe change took waaaaay too long.  There were pre-pregnancy clothes strewn about the bedroom for weeks.

Weekly shots.  Since Asher was born prematurely at 34 weeks, I was on weekly shots during my pregnancy with Josie to prevent premature labor.  They worked, and so my doctor wanted me to do the shots again (As he said, "Why argue with success?" Jeremy and I agree.).  It was quite difficult to work things out with insurance, copay assistance, and the specialty pharmacy to make sure they arrived at the doctor's office in time for me to start taking them early enough.  And reviewing how to do the shot and actually doing it for the first time made me feel sick - something I wasn't expecting.

Prepping for a 4th baby.  Going from two to three kids was really difficult for me.  It's easy for me to fall into thoughts of "how am I going to manage four children?!" Three is already plenty of work...how will I be able to handle four?!  Also, the newborn stage is not my favorite...being up at all hours, making sure the baby is getting enough to eat, caring for each of his or her needs...it can be overwhelming.

Toddler

Josie is a climber.  I don't remember the boys being climbers.  But Josie?  She's so fast!  Her favorite things to climb are the kitchen table and the living room end table.  Neither one of these is safe, and I'm constantly on the lookout for where she is and what she's doing.

Into everything.  As toddlers do, Josie loves to get in to whatever she can get her hands on.  She unloads the canned goods and boxes of dry food from the cabinet.  She brings her clean cloth diapers from her room into the living room.  She "helps" with the clean laundry.  And why is the bathroom one of her favorite places?!

THE TANTRUMS.  She actually laid on the floor, cried, and kicked her feet on a recent night.  She didn't get her way, and she didn't like that very much.

Big emotions.  She's a stubborn little thing.  I'm not sure if it's because she's a girl, or if it's just that she's almost 19 months old, but she knows what she wants, and she isn't afraid to let you know about it.  And you will definitely get a reaction if you tell her "no."  She feels things pretty deeply.

Preschool

Asher is active.  So active.  The kid runs.  And runs, and runs, and runs.

Not obeying the first time.  Either he is so engrossed in whatever he is doing that he doesn't hear me, or he is ignoring me when I give him something to do.  Whichever it is, it's extremely frustrating.

Whining.  Why is this a thing?

An element of oblivion.  On a recent Sunday, Asher wandered away from us in the church parking lot as we were unloading Josie and bags and such from the car.  He wasn't paying attention in the busy parking lot, and I (very unbecomingly) screeched his name over and over until I got his attention (sorry, fellow churchgoers...).  It totally freaked me out after the fact.

Elementary

Behavior Management.  Our goal of behavior management and discipline is to help our kids learn how to honor God through their behavior and to treat others well.  We're at a pivotal new stage of development...what was previously working stopped being effective.  So we've made some adjustments which seem to be working, but it's never easy.

Learning how to read.  Homeschooling kindergarten is very different from homeschooling preschool.  Teaching him how to read is a little nerve-wracking, but we're getting there.

Healthy communication.
A big challenge for us has been helping Micah learn to be kind in what he is saying instead of demanding.  We've been trying to teach him that a lot of what he says is fine, it's just the way that he says it that needs some improvement.

Myself

And then there's me.  My feelings of inadequacy as I face new challenges constantly with these kiddos (the need for speech therapy, a random skin infection, outright defiance).  My lack of housekeeping skills (I've never been good at this as I mentioned in this post),  Being overrun by TOYS and not having a good organization system.

Gratitude

Please don't get me wrong.  I love being a mom.  And, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  Throughout all of the hard parts, I try to have a thread of gratitude.  It isn't always there (like recently), but when I do remember to be grateful instead of feeling sorry for myself, things do tend to go better.  So here is my attempt at some gratitude in the midst of all this chaos.

Pregnancy - I'm grateful for...

• morning sickness, a physical sign that the baby is healthy.
• available medication that I can administer myself to keep my chances down of having another preemie baby.
• this new life - even though we did not plan on this 4th baby, I know that God has plans for him or her that are wonderful.
• a great doctor.
• very excited and supportive friends and family.
• my husband, who has totally stepped up and taken care of the things I've had to let slide.  He has been a rock star.  
• an ultrasound where we'll find out the baby's sex in just a couple of weeks!
• peace in the potentially overwhelming.

Toddlerhood - I'm grateful for...

• on-track development.
• her ever-increasing ability to communicate.
• those sweet hugs and kisses.
• the way she prays in words that I cannot understand.
• how she sometimes sings her bedtime songs with me.
• that hair!

Preschool - I'm grateful for...

• the way he belts out random songs from the radio.
• his consistent greeting of "MOMMY!!!" after we've been apart for awhile.
• how he says, "I love you so, so, so, so, so, so, so much!"
• his desire to spend time with me - "I just want to be with you!"
• the fact that he is a HARD sleeper!

Elementary - I'm grateful for...

• beautiful conversations following awful behavior.
• his ability to understand things like jokes and consequences for behavior.
• that huge grin and shoulder-shaking giggle when he finds something especially hilarious.
• all of his questions as we work on our Classical Conversations memory work, especially about the timeline and history sentence.  I get questions on topics like the Cherokee Trail of Tears, the Dred Scott Decision, Queen Victoria's rule over India, and whether or not Adolf Hitler is in heaven.
• his excitement and enthusiasm over getting bills in the mail.

Sometimes it's the little things that we can be so thankful for.  What about you?  How do you thread (or try to thread) gratitude through your day when things are hard?