As I alluded to in my last post, we have had a lot going on in our lives. Setbacks with selling the rental house. Medical bills. Health insurance. Adding and adjusting to (read: sleep deprivation) a fourth baby. Managing four kids 6 and under. Homeschooling. Meals. Cleaning the house.
The overall stress of life has been overwhelming at times.
I've had to figure out some Game-Changers (defined as "a simple new tool or new habit [that] can make what once felt difficult instead seem effortless" in this article) to reduce the overwhelm. Here is a sampling of what I've done.
SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE
Two things here.
- I've had to make an effort to focus on facts instead of just emotion. In the emotional moment, things can seem pretty bleak. I tend to focus so intensely on the situation that I lose perspective. And the truth is that things could be a lot worse. Everyone is healthy. We have the freedom to homeschool. Jeremy has a steady job, and I am able to stay home with my kids. I've written about having gratitude in the chaos before in this post.
- God is my hope. I don't understand why these trials are happening. I don't understand why things are turning out differently than I want them to. But I do know that like Paul and his companions in II Corinthians 1, I have been under great pressure, far beyond my ability to bear. And also like Paul and his companions, I have been forced to rely on God instead of myself. That's not a bad thing.
SLEEP TRAINING
Flora needs to sleep. I need her to sleep so I can sleep. Everything looks better with rest! Now that she is four months old, I feel comfortable helping her learn how to self-soothe and sleep more in her crib and less on us. Unfortunately, this involves some crying (on both of our parts), but I believe that teaching her how to sleep well is one of the healthiest thing I can do for all of us.
TASKING THINGS OUT
Some of the big stressors in our lives (selling the rental home and figuring out medical bills, for example) take lots of time and work to accomplish. At Jeremy's suggestion, I broke what I needed to do for selling the house down to very specific tasks, mapped them out on the calendar and stuck to the schedule (for the most part). I did this with the medical bills, too. I've made more progress with way less stress over the past few days than I have in a long time.
REST TIME
This Game-Changer isn't new for me, but it is such a sanity saver that I believe it is worth mentioning. Almost every afternoon, we set aside two hours for everyone to rest. Josie (and hopefully soon Flora) naps. The boys have one hour to lay down with nothing but stuffed animals and books. They can read, stare at the ceiling and think, pray, make-believe with their stuffed animals...whatever they want to do with what they have while they are laying down. For the second hour, they listen to audio books through Audible, Hoopla or Overdrive (the last two are through our local library). Our entertainment-saturated world usually bombards them from all sides, and I think it's important for them to have time to be quiet and still. And there is the added benefit that I get a little bit of a break, too.
I'd love to hear some Game-Changers for you when you feel overwhelmed! What do you do to make life easier?
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Tiffany · 384 weeks ago
My game changers have been: lowering my cleaning standards on my house and allowing myself cleaning short-cuts. I keep a bottle of clorox wipes or similar product in each bathroom under the sink or nearby if don't have a cupboard under the sink, an occasional quick wipe with one of these- good enough, actually better than good enough :-) I don't do what I used to- take everything off the sink counter top and shower, scrub, etc. I do not dust often, but I did borrow a tip and that is to use used dryer sheets to wipe off one nearby surface before I toss it in the trash. It gets 1 more use then, or I use a not so dirty sock or towel to wipe off a surface (not one we will eat off), and wipe off with that before it goes into the laundry. Bethany got me a great sign I have in my entry way, "Sorry about the mess, but we live here", and that is true- my Kids live here- so hence there will be Kid toys and stuff in every room, my husband lives here and he doesn't have to keep his stuff in a man cave or single room.
And on homeschooling, I am trying to remove from my vocabulary and thinking, "we are behind" and not to compare. And to be fine with what we do get done and to change my mindset on what has to get done. Writing a letter to Grandma is language arts in action. Doing mad libs is learning the parts of speech. Doing a book report is writing. So some days and subjects don't look very "typical" :-) And I feel God keeps telling me, character matters more than academics, so I need to focus on the Bible and devotions for myself and the Kids. The learning happens too. In the book The Millionaire Next Door, on the like 35 top things that made these millionaires successful, #1 was telling the truth, #5 a supportive spouse, academics was down in the 20's. So training character needs to be a priority for me. To keep me accountable to be in the Bible, I joined a Bible Study called Community Bible Study (CBS) and they take homeschool kids and I have 6 days of homework. I need that. They also give Ellie 6 days of homework. Not yet for the Boys as they are still learning how to read. We meet once a week for 2 hours. BSF is doing a pilot group with homeschool kids to see if they can offer that in the future. I used to do BSF for the same reasons as CBS.
For groceries, I sometime use the order groceries online and do grocery pick-up. I should do more often, it saves so much time and energy.
I get to do freezer meals about once a month with Bethany and we do recipes that are crock pot meals and you make and freeze with raw ingredients. No cooking befor hand. And many lunches and breakfasts are simple stuff, soup in a can heated up, flour tortilla warmed up with butter and cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on. Not hot lunches. Simple fare :-)
I need to continue to teach the Kids on more chores, it is very time consuming, but pays off later.
Those are game changers I have used and continue to try and apply consistently :-)
Love you!!